New Year's Resolutions

Current Mood: Hopeful

Current Song: Aftermath - Adam Lambert

"Before you break you have to shed your armor

Take a trip and fall into glitter"

Ok.... so I have once again fallen into my slacker ways, but I stopped posting because my posting time suddenly became homework time, and after that I kind of just forgot. But I'll be better now, or at least I'll try to be, but honestly, I make no guarantees!!

I guess that's a decent transition into my New Year's Resolutions this year. I'm usually not one for resolutions... I have traditionally seen them as creative ways to disappoint yourself. You make these resolutions knowing that you have 365 days to complete them, and then 364 days into the year, you realize that you haven't accomplished anything and get extremely depressed. And I just don't think that kind of disappointment is necessary. We get enough criticism from the outside world, we don't need to add additional internal pressure as well. So this year, I have decided to make resolutions, but I'm justifying making them by telling myself that there are no set markers that I have to reach, they are just ideas and ideals that I want to live by.

My first resolution is to stay positive. I like to think that I am a recovering pessimist. I used to always see the glass half empty and always assume that the worst was going to happen. But now, I would consider myself a realist. I see things for what they are, I don't always see the bright side, but there is still room for hope. And hope is incredibly important to me. So this year, I am going to try to look forward and see the glass half full. That said, I don't intend to suddenly become an optimist. I see optimism as a quick route to disappointment. So, I guess my goal is simply to be a more positive realist.

Resolution number two is that I want to start standing up for what I believe in, and not be silent any more. There are so many things that I am passionate about, and I refuse to be silent about them any more. I want to start really standing up for the causes that I believe in. I started taking to heart the sentiment: "If you're not a part of the solution you're part of the problem." I understand now that no matter how passionate I am about things, if I don't stand up, speak out, and let my voice be heard, then I am part of the problem. So no more being silent or selfish, I am ready to step up and make a difference in the world.

My final formal resolution is that I want to start living.... out loud, I think that's the phrase I'm looking for. I will be 21 this year, and there are so many things that I haven't done and so many people that I haven't met, and so much fun that I haven't had. And now I want to change that. I am always the good girl.... ALWAYS. And I don't want to be that perfect little angel any more. I want to go out and have fun, let my hair down, and not be so afraid of everything all the time. I know that there are so many things that I am missing out on and I absolutely refuse to let life pass me by any longer. This is the only time that I am going to be young, and I want to enjoy it.

So I guess that's it. I'm ready to take on 2010.... there's nothing holding me back now.

You feel the weight

Of lies and contradictions that you live with every day

It's not too late

Think of what could be if you rewrite the role you play

Take a step before you leap

Into the colors that you seek

You get back what you give away

So don't look back on yesterday

Wanna scream out

No more hiding

Don't be afraid of what's inside

Gonna tell ya you'll be alright

In the aftermath

Anytime anybody pulls you down

Anytime anybody says you're not allowed

Just remember you are not alone

In the aftermath